The Great Grand Illusion Of Social Media

The TRUTH is I'm really one of those not-so-vain women, I can step out in my dead beat pyjamas & reading glasses or an oversize tee-shirt without a single speck of make up on, or decked out in the finest most flattering outfit any sultry woman can possibly adorn. And I swear, I would make your heart beat fast and your pants ring....Ding! Ding! Ding! Zzzzzzzz. But I won't be celebrating any reference to how "beautiful" I am...Geez! I have a mirror. What do you think? And I couldn't care less if "Alex-The-Girl-Next-Door" or "Alexandra-Boobilicious-The-Dick-Slayer" was on call. I don't care who the world gets to see, as long as they understand that these two personas are different parts of me... The pretty side and the not-so-pretty side.

Ah! Don't get me wrong. I do like ATTENTION...lotsss of it. I just like it to be a little more organic, EFFORTLESS and understated. Like when I walk into a room, and I catch you stealing side glances at me...I have an incredible hunch that you're attracted to me, but I have no proof. Dang! That for me is way more mind is racing. It's on GUESS overdrive. I'm not saying play hard to get...(I don't have time for games)...I'm simply saying...Don't overwhelm me with your theatrics, it won't help your chances of getting down with me. I won't just buy the idea of taking your penis with me, because another woman has one like yours, she takes to her bed every night. Neither because someone thinks its a far better option than having just my fingers on solo nights. Kwa kwa kwa...I'm a little more discerning than I like to portray. I look for a reason...THE REASON...And now that I sense he may be watching me...Following me...My instincts are telling me I'm right about that silly hunch, after all I'm an intelligent woman...Yet he's not ogling me enough to take the challenge away from me, neither is he telling me every freaking minute how much he likes those twin girls up on my chest... or even begging me to FOLLOW HIM BACK to the ends of the earth, like so many random people do on Instagram.

Yes! You probably know, I'm not a big fan of instagram...I try to use it to connect and I do have quite a hand full of photos, as well as FOLLOWERS there in the tens of thousands (and I humbly appreciate them), but honestly speaking, my interaction there is zilch. Zero! I do have several reasons why its my least favorite though, apart from its obviously VAIN objective, there's the fact that I'm so freaking busy creating content for my multi-platforms including the radio and my blog. I also realised that most people actually use it as a mini blogging system themselves...(they don't realise this though because they think they aren't bloggers...except in their naivety, they keep sending the TRAFFIC to instagram, rather than create their own platforms and direct these curious crusaders to their own domain/website). They post their daily thoughts, stolen quotes and filtered images...and sit around waiting for people to jump on their images with 'likes' and 'follow me back' requests, (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

But I realised that It doesn't exactly do much for me...I really hate to be spoon fed. You post an image, nothing artsy or creatively INTELLECTUAL...Just a bunch of "Look-At-Me" photos and then you feed me, an un-authentic piece, I'm supposed to digest, no reference to the original author, sometimes no depth whatsover and certainly not from your soul...Aaarggghh! Oh! I'm guilty I barely find the time to stop by there, glance through any of the myriads of touched up photos from people showing off their NARCISSM, perhaps even with texts as long as my longest winded blog post, presenting their very "Perfect Life" and oh their prettiest side too - "The Dick Slayer" or "Cunt Catcher" part of themselves, if I may say....Hahaha...Ever noticed me photo-shop out that annoying mole on the upper right side of my forehead? Nope! Not even when my doctor offered to take it out during Ray's birth or when the line producers on TINSEL would ask the hair and make-up assistants to cover it up with my hair, for fear of what the cameras would pick while filming. Still, I promise I'm not part of those hustling on Insta-streets. I don't hang around long enough to even drop a like or a comment....Sometimes, I try to when something AUTHENTIC catches my attention...but I rarely succeed. The FARCE of it all won't let me join the lying bandwagon. And I doubt I'll be auditioning for my next boyfriend there.

So imagine me licking my lips and fantasising at the thought of that HOT n' SEXY brother with six packs and no pimples gliding his hands down my back...Only to find out he's 10 layers of photoshop and 'H' Factor on steroids! Chineke! It's a bloody worthless distraction, mehn! And to be honest, I almost don't even care if people do the same to my photos there. Ignore them for the sheer reason that I simply don't return the favour...For me, it's become one grand playhouse for those seeking some VALIDATION of sort. (Like, If you say you love me, or I inspire you or that I'm a mega super star deserving of the sun and the moon...I may soon start to believe it). Rubbish! What if a hater says I'm crazy or that I'm a bad mother, a disgrace to millennials? Should I also believe it? Hahaha. People care how many people buy into the hype and false projections they have created for themselves...rather than accept the NAKED TRUTH about who they really are. They feed on the grave insecurity of others, as it has become a fierce competition for who can get more followers, the most likes or comments on a single photo, like it actually increases the true value of who you are. 4000 Likes...Ding...Ding...Ding....She's Popular! Where's the bloody bank alert! Dammit! If only each 'like' was really worth a thousand dollars in the bank. Whoosh!

Well, I'm the woman who tries to avoid the red carpet when I step out to events...(That's if I step out abeg)...Geez! I started attending events and awards when I was 6 years old, (barely out of my diapers)...then my Musician father was PMAN president- Nigeria's Biggest & Most Important Musical Association in the late 80's and 90's. And I was one of the only two children who used to run around those prestigious arena's in the midst of all those movers and shakers...and dignitaries, year in, year out (my school mates even hated me, they were jealous..and my primary school teachers used to suck up to me). They never knew the numerous nights, my mother never saw her husband because he was working or the countless days I never saw my father, of course I was too young to understand I was being bribed for his absence.. To them, I was a spoiled rich girl enjoying the taste of heaven (If only they knew).

Fast forward, I club-hopped and party-bopped as much as I could fit into my young adult weekends. I mingled with the Aristocrats and the Shot-callers. I'm very humble about it though. Of course, now I just shake my head when I see young people dying to be famous and lapping up the false-hood. I laugh when I see people who used to hustle for attention, fake their glorious arrival. You would expect that 32 years of growing up in the crevice of the Entertainment Industry and seeing the truth and reality of Show business, surely I would have over grown my own infantile desire to continuously be SEEN in the spotlight. Oh yes, I did! And I feel so guilty when I'm being referred to as a celebrity. It is true that I get celebrated whether by the media or individuals who write me emails daily...A painful truth, I don't take for granted. I mean, I do want to be appreciated for the VALUE I bring, not the fame I've been accustomed to, since I was a baby. So I figured, I can still be part of the industry, without being sucked in by it, right? And believe me, the lifestyle isn't that much of a big bloody deal. I'm privy to the SACRIFICES lots of famous people have to make.

So today I'm advocating to those who feel like their lives are not worth much or worth living, because of the ILLUSION that social media has created world wide and while I'm a believer of the immense advantage of the new media (considering it has connected me to so many global influencers), I also recognise the undue PRESSURE that comes with it. I know, I know darling, you too want your own bae like Tonto Dike. Your own dynasty like the Kardashians and the 'Jay Z' Carter's of this world. (do you even realise how hard these people work?) but I bet those pretty photos don't show the 'pains'...only the GAINS.

Still remember, that most people on social media present the "best version" of who they are or who they think people should BELIEVE they are. Nobody shares their darkest most pitiful moment, at least not while it's happening. It gives the illusion that their life is "perfect" when in reality, no one is PERFECT...we all go through things that challenge us to either give up or become better. And thus, comparing your life or inadequacy to others has become so darn easy, waaaay easy. Just a simple click will STRIP you off your remaining confidence and make you feel like you're not GOOD enough, not achieving much, not having as much fun or your life is such a freaking bore... These thoughts have crossed my mind (Oh damn you Alex! Why didn't you go to that event?...Whew! Why didn't I agree to make it work with him...Look at how the bloody bastard is flaunting her. Geez, I should be the one speaking at that event, not her). You question your CHOICES, and these thoughts affect your self-esteem, you become DESPERATE to prove that you too, are social media royalty, you are part of the inner-circle...the In-crowd. Then you forget who you really are, and what you really want out of life.

Well, you can be part of the system alright, but don't let yourself get sucked in, by it. Don't buy into the grand illusion of social media, because the person you think has the most likes, might by far - be the loneliest. The person who constantly shows off their beautiful ROMANTIC relationship, might have the biggest relationship frustrations. The person who always appears to be the happiest, might be the most depressed. You just never know. Don't compare your life to others because you don't know the reality of what people are going through. Appreciate your journey and work on GROWING. Life is really about gaining lessons from your experience and living your truth. Even the experts are guilty of this farce. You don't become an EXPERT because you are perfect. Actually, experts are a bunch of people who have made several mistakes in a particular niche and learned some good darn lessons. Keeping in mind that being NAKED is really about being aware of yourself, flaws and all...while presenting and accepting the TRUTH about who you really are right now, so that you can actually measure the depth of transformation you need to become, who you want to be. No cover ups, no lies...and certainly with no bloody Filters!! He he he. 🌻

So what do you think lovelies? Are you one of those lost in the illusion? Feel free to EXPRESS your thoughts!

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