Dirty Talk In The Panties....

Hey Lovelies! Lately, I've been accused of being way too serious and dated. I know it's been a long while since I played NAUGHTY here or even CRACKED you up silly.....Well, a friend of mine tried to DIRTY talk his way into my PANTIES....Hahahah.....And it had me thinking of all the HILARIOUS pick-up lines men use to get women into bed....or at least get them WET from sheer laughter.  

Here's what my crazy friend said to me...."Alex do you have a phone in your back pocket, because your booty is calling me, and yes....I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be present." I just burst out in uncontrollable laughter and I honestly can't stop laughing.

Well I decided to SPREAD the humour and share some more hilariously CRUDE pick-up lines I found while researching for content for my next COMIC screen play...Feel free to CRINGE or just roll on the floor laughing. Believe me I did the same. Enjoy!!!

#1) Girl, do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a COCK.

#2) I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... "Nice ASS!"

#3) Do you mix concrete for a living? Because I swear,  you're making me HARD.

#4) I lost my VIRGINITY. Err...Can I have yours?

#5) If you're feeling down, believe me,  I can FEEL you up.

#6) FUCK me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

#7) My DICK just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your round ASS?

#8) Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd sure love to SPREAD them!

#9) There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy URANUS. Note Pronounciation: Ur - Anus!!!!

#10) I may not go down in history, but I'll sure go DOWN on you baby.

#11) You might not be the best looking girl here, but BEAUTY is only a light switch away.

#12) That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd BE coming too.

#13) Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my PACKAGE.

#14) I'm blind. Can I READ your t-shirt in braille?

#15) You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just WANT it for one night.

#16) Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just PRACTICE then?

#17) Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can SEE myself in your pants.

#18) Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your BOOBS up all day for free? 

#19) Let's have a party and invite your PANTS to come on down.

#20) Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll SLAM you all night long!

#21) Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I WARM them in your heaving breasts?

#22) Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your BODY good.

#23) I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna FRESHEN your breath?

#24) Excuse me, but do you give HEAD to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

#25) Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll NAIL you.

Hahahah. Whether you were irritated, miffed or whipped by the sheer brilliance of the slapstick humour in them. One has to admit that it makes for a very good laugh? Do let me know if you honestly think any of these have the power to break a women's sexual resolve.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Muaah!

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